I was using the bathroom, when all of a sudden I noticed a small river of red red krovvy running down the snow white
porcelain, creating a trail of lipstick like decoration. As if drawed by a dying woman, dressed in a cocktail dress, stabbed in the heart during a metro station mugging.
I remained calm, careful not to be stricken with panic. But after a
good ten minutes or, so I had to cave in to the primal emotions that were clawing their way towards my frontal lobes all the way from my cerebellum.
Whats happening to me? I'm to young to get prostate cancer, colon cancer, maybe its....pancreatic cancer?
Despite the known dangers of cigarettes, and its terrible side effects, I lighted one. My mind was already going in overdrive, calculating the time and resources needed for a emergency room visit this late at night. Would I be kept there overnight for monitoring, and would I have to phone my relatives so they could take care of my dog while I was gone? The cigarette glow finally reached the tip of my fingers burning them, and as I snapped out of my thoughts, I saw it
lying there. It had been lying there for a long time, always ready, no questions asked. The pinnacle of human tool making. The keyboard.
It took only 0.20 seconds to generate 1790000 results, and an additional 3 minutes to know it was hemorroids. Heart rate back to normal.
I have done some research on hemorroids now, and it seems it is *very* common. When you folks grow up you might get it as well. Until then, BE AFRAID! (ps: mine doesn't hurt, but apparently hemorroid surgery causes intense post surgery pains)
That is all.