Kinda late for talk like a pirate day, yet here are some piratey jokes:
They say, "Once a pirate, always a pirate!" So why is it that these scurvy dogs never return to the straight and narrow?
Once you lose your first hand, yer HOOKED!
Why did the pirate wear a paper towel for a bandanna?
He heard that all good pirates have a bounty on their head!
Where would they send a Pirate Ship with a broken rib?
To the dock, in the sick bay.
Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
The captain was standing on the deck!
How do pirates know that they are pirates?
They know, because they ARRRR!!!!!
What does a bleached blonde and a pirate have in common?
A little black patch.
Did you hear about the pirate who took up boxing?
He had a killer left hook!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck!
What's really a pirate's favorite letter?
P! Because it's an R, but it's missing a leg!
What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?
A sunken chest with no booty!
What be a pirate's favorite vegetable?
Have you heard about the new pirate movie?
It's rated AARRRRGGH! And you know why? Because of all the booty!
what do you call a pirate that skips class? captain hooky!
What has 12 hands, 12 feet and 12 eyes? A dozen Pirates!
What was Bluebeard's wife's name? Peg.
How does a pirate greet a prostitute? Yo Ho
What's a pirate's least favorite animal? Beaver.
Question: What did Captain Hook die from?
Answer: Jock Itch.
How did the pirate stop smoking?
He used the patch!