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Anomonous Guy
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« Reply #45 on: February 06, 2008, 04:51:16 PM » |
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What Hali said is so true.
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Anomonous Guy
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« Reply #46 on: February 07, 2008, 08:48:30 AM » |
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The Sensitive Man
A woman meets a man in a bar.
They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.
They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment.
She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.
There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed
in rows, covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.
There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.
She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears, She is quite impressed by his sensitive side. but doesn't mention this to him.
They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after awhile, she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy
could be the one!
Maybe he could be the future father of my children?"
She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips He responds warmly.
They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.
She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly,"Well,how was it?"
The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek,
looks deeply into her eyes, and says:
"Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf."
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Anomonous Guy
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« Reply #47 on: February 14, 2008, 12:34:58 PM » |
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Mikhail_16
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« Reply #48 on: February 20, 2008, 03:13:11 PM » |
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bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
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bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.
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BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something
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Anomonous Guy
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« Reply #49 on: February 20, 2008, 05:03:52 PM » |
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haha, so hali is britney  |
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187cyco
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« Reply #50 on: February 20, 2008, 05:41:21 PM » |
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I've read those conversations so many times and i always laugh.
Does anyone know if they are real?
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Halibut
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« Reply #51 on: February 20, 2008, 06:37:17 PM » |
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I really hope they are, it would be so lame if someone just made them up.
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Anomonous Guy
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« Reply #52 on: February 20, 2008, 08:18:36 PM » |
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i dont think you COULD make that stuff up!
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187cyco
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« Reply #53 on: February 21, 2008, 07:30:03 AM » |
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I think you can. After all, if he exists, he has to come up with his own part of the dialogue. And that's the hardest part.
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Anomonous Guy
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« Reply #54 on: February 21, 2008, 08:11:31 AM » |
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in that case this perv is an epic genius!
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Zel Uneec
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« Reply #55 on: March 04, 2008, 07:53:53 AM » |
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here's one about computer programmers  the wife says to her husband, who is a computer programmer: "Please honey, go to shop and buy a packet of butter. And, if they have eggs, buy ten." the husband comes from the shop with ten packets of butter and says: "They had eggs!" |
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..there is no death; there is the God...
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Anomonous Guy
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« Reply #56 on: March 04, 2008, 11:51:25 AM » |
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haha thats pretty good  |
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Halibut
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« Reply #57 on: March 04, 2008, 09:38:23 PM » |
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I suppose thats an in-joke...
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Anomonous Guy
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« Reply #58 on: March 04, 2008, 10:13:13 PM » |
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well basically, if you program something and don't specify exactly what you mean logically, then the program will just run how you tell it to...
So the statement "Please honey, go to shop and buy a packet of butter. And, if they have eggs, buy ten."
Could be shown as:
if eggs=true: buy 10 pack of butter
else: buy 1 pack of butter
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Halibut
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« Reply #59 on: March 05, 2008, 12:23:10 AM » |
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Still doesn't make sense |
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